About The Last Redhead


If we can create the physical appearance of our children before they are born, then we would invariably consume certain traits more than others. And if no redheads were available to enhance our spectrum of human characteristics, there would be people like the very inventive Doctor Squishy to find, or create the redheaded gene.

The Last Redhead is the last redheaded child born in twenty-some years, the nurse said over her dying mother’s body. With no father to be found, The Last Redhead grows in an orphanage until she becomes eighteen years old. The rainy day she graduated to the street; she is picked up by a disgusting, abusive opportunist, who takes her to Doctor Squishy the obstetrician, with the hope that insemination creates a valuable redheaded child. which just begins her struggle with herself and her image, surrounded by people wanting to have red hair, to look like her, be her. She models for Redy F’redy condoms advertisements, and is hopeless about losing friends and an inability to go out in public without harassment by a society compelled to find the redheaded gene through The Genealogical Society’s automated genetic teller machines.

The competing top-model, a voluptuous blonde named after a hair dye, Better Blonder Blonde is a market in a minute. Everything she does is captured on film and turned into an advertisement by camerapeople’s popping flashbulbs; encapsulating everyone’s long, bare-thighed movements. Thriving on the throbbing world of attention in her Flexonoroff dress, Better Blonder Blonde commercializes an adult soft drink, gets her personalized automated genetic teller machine, recaptures and creates a better Better Blonder Blonde.

Brunette is an investigator, half-heartedly working for someone who everyone believes is The Last Redhead’s father; a down-and-out, troubled man, who trained crows to collect quarters for peanuts. Brunette confesses as to why she hates Herfather, while working with a partner to get the parental message to The Last Redhead.

When it all rolls out with a flapping snap at the end, it’s Doctor Squishy who…

Well, The Last Redhead is filled with comedic situations, with invention, commercialism, modeling, medicine, genetic engineering and fanaticism, compressed into 142, 289 words of humor and entertainment.

(Sorry, we can’t give refunds)